Friends, M. here. Happy 10 years of Sentient Ruin to the label, to the Bands, and of course, to You all, without whom, none of this would have been possible. You all who are one with us. Thank You.
As a decades-long musician, music collector, music blogger/journalist, enthusiast, idealist and occultist, on April 1 2014 I helped my friends from the Italian dark wave/crust/doom metal band Buioingola (RIP) release their debut album “Dopo l’apnea” on cassette and digitally via Bandcamp and streaming services. The start of Sentient Ruin. The unconventional release, which had gone until then quite ignored outside of Italy and by the mainstream public, astonishingly sold out quick of all 100 cassettes made, indicating to me that there was some surprising potential and intrinsic merit in apparently obscure music, which just needed the right extra nudge to be brought out and shown around to be deservingly appreciated. The experience got me thinking, so I started debating about another band/release to re-experiment with, and soon found myself dedicating more and more time to a peculiar favorite activity of mine of researching and unearthing obscure gems, no longer just for strict self-enjoyment, blogging, or for personal collecting (as had been for decades until that moment), but rather to start supporting their creators directly and also to share my finds with a specific kindred audience and public with similar interests as mine on formats and physical presentations that I deemed unique and celebratory of the auditory creations themselves. Where music blogging had always made me feel more of a “contributor” to this cause (or to someone else’s cause), starting, owning, and operating my own label, truly made me feel like I had found my place in music. A place uniquely all my own.
This event however was not completely casual. It had been stirring in the back of my head for years after constant waves of inspiration and temptation derived from being a decades long physical format music collector. I have to thank all the unaware “mentors” I had throughout the years who inspired me in this endeavor, and from whom I bought endless releases (often every release ever) over the decades, of which I’d just sit in my room and admire the packaging and read every liner note there was over and over and over again, touching the paper while I listened to the music and treating every release like the most meaningful and inspiring heirloom I owned. The music coming from the speakers, coupled with the physical packaging and visuals created a frenzy of imagination in my brain, leading to massive waves of inspiration throughout the years always hindered by the intimidating thought of “but where and how do I start”? These labels and people who inspired me are/were Andy/Aurora Borealis (thank you for showing me how metal and electronic could co-exist so effortlessly and that white should be the color for a metal label), Adam/Crucial Blast (thank you for inspiring me in the metal/industrial release fusion), Aaron/HydraHead (thank you for diversity and the packaging inspiration), Cold Spring, Patrick/Iron Bonhead, Hasjarl/End All Life Prods, Norma Evangelium Diaboli, Jason/Willowtip, Cold Meat Industry, Ken/Prank Records, Mark/Youth Attack, Yosuke/NWN!, Osmose Prods, early Earache, 90’s Relapse, Touch and Go, Amphetamine Reptile, Wax Trax, Nettwerk, Minotauro, Black Widow Records, Dischord, Alternative Tentacles, Profane Existence, Malignant Records, Mila/Coppa and Agipunk, and literally hundreds more, thank You for showing me the way and light over the years, there is a little bit of all of you in everything I do now. What followed, unbeknownst and unimaginable to me, would be 10 years, for over 200 releases of pure underground carnage and auditory darkness spanning my favorite genres of black, doom, and death metal, black/death industrial, ritual/dark ambient, post-punk, goth and deathrock, as well as noise and power electronics, all the way to hardcore, crust, grindcore and powerviolence, on all formats imaginable, from double vinyl releases to 10” vinyl, CD, double-cassettes, all the way to merchandise and apparel.
Fast forward to a decade later, Sentient Ruin has now shockingly become, in a completely unforeseeable way to me, some sort of reference point in underground extreme music, with a unique dedication to transcendence through discovery. A reputable source of obscure knowledge which many of you now know and appreciate for its completely (and proudly) anti-commercial approach to music publication, as well as for supporting and promoting enigmatic yet highly qualitative bands and releases which due to a lack of mainstream appeal may have otherwise gone overlooked, and thus, making the label a beacon for thousands worldwide for highly explorative, cross-genre, multidisciplinary, completely underground music discovery. A defining aspect of the label has been in fact that of discovering and releasing completely unknown, often debuting bands, and rarely (if ever) releasing established ones. For this reason, I now feel like Sentient Ruin carries a torch of sorts. And knowing that this light it carries forth to lighten up obscure crevices in the abyss brings joy and escape to many, I feel motivated more than ever to continue in an effort to keep that light burning and never let it go out, as brining “light” AKA happiness, inspiration, joy, respite, escape, surprise, motivation or just relaxation to anyone, is more meaningful to me than anything else in this world.
I don’t claim I know more or better about music than others. Some releases have sold well, others have not. I just like what I like and don’t like what I don’t like, and this reflects in the releases and my modus operandi. So if anyone enjoys what they hear, then I solely consider my self lucky for having hollered out in the void with an idea and a proposition to listen and having gotten a reply back, making me aware that there are others out there like myself who appreciate certain crafts and who make me feel less alone and isolated in music as has frequently been throughout my life, allowing me to find a sense of purpose, participation, and community through Sentient Ruin.
Of course none of this could have ever become possible if it wasn’t for You, our beloved Bands, and You, our beloved Supporters. Those who create and pour their souls, money, time, blood, sweat and tears into absolute underground dedication out of sheer passion and commitment, for no relevant monetary returns. And those who are unfazed and unimpressed by the endless stream of boring, predictable, cookie-cutter, hype-washed, imitator packaged goods “that sell”. But which really just linger above obscuirity without ever relly climbing anywhere higher conceptually, wishing they could get into Walmart, while below we completely ignore money and need for recognition to just focus our senses, witts, and interests toward things that are real, unique, uncompromising and meaningful, and not toward what makes us feel safely a part of a templatized herd of sheep.
With that said, after 10 years, I think I owe you insights and openess about myself so you can better know who you are supporting and where all this comes from. This 10 year journey, and connecting to you all via this label over the years, has inspired me to open up, as I feel a sense of purpose, connection, liberation and catharsis in freely jotting down this blog post.
The reason Sentient Ruin will never chase the buck, simply lies in the fact that I have, have always had, and will always have, a full-time “corporate” job to take care of my family and of paying my bills. Which is also why I chose privacy. Which I am also thankful that you all respect and casually seem to forget about, as should be, because none of this is about me anyway, but only about the Bands, and Those who tend an ear to them. Staying reserved has allowed me to lead two “separate lives” relatively worry-free, and has also helped in refocusing the full attention of the label on its bands and releases. All of this is about You and You only, and in no way about me. And I do not maintain a full-time “corporate” job because I need or have to, but because I like to, and because I also parallelly deeply love my “day job” and that aspect of my life just as much as I love operating an independent record label, and have a great passion for it (I have many interests in life, which are often unrelated to music and to each other). I am not fond of the “corporate” world by any means (that’s collateral damage, or a necessary evil), but I love the work I do, and it has been a motive for great inspiration and personal advancements for me over the years, aside from being the natural continuation of a journey I started with my university studies and from a long-lasting passion and interest I’ve had aside from music since young-hood. I have worked full time jobs for decades in the same field and discipline that I love since finishing my studies, and I consider my self lucky and privileged to be able to do so, and plan do to it for as long as I can, regardless of if I also run a record label or not.
And that also means that I yes, I work A LOT (sometimes, insane amounts), but as someone who is easily bored and needs constant stimulation, this is my ideal scenario and my natural environment, and is as such, spontaneous, honest, and also masochistically pleasant for me. Don’t ask me why or how, it is just how it is, and I can not explain it. Some people like to have a stiletto crush their testicles, I love to work, often to the point I pass out, there is no explaining it, it is just how it goes, hehe. But more importantly, it shows how my private life has contributed to making Sentient Ruin what it is. In other words, it means that Sentient Ruin is completely free of the monetary pressure to sell or make profits, and thus, is completely free of any outside influence that is unrelated to the music, and will forever exist just as an entity devoted and committed to the music and to releasing what I like and what I think You will like, regardless of its economical potential or not. What you hear coming from this label, is solely what I believe in, what I love, and what I believe you will enjoy being aware of as well, with no other goal or meaning behind it.
Of course however, none of this is just a nice utopian or idealistic fairy tale. Far from. I work hard to make sure the label doesn’t turn into a money pit and ends up poorly affecting my life and family. Even operating to recoup costs is an insane amount of work. At times I struggle, at times I feel like I am overwhelmed, other times I feel like quitting, but then a band will come along that will blow my mind and immediately reconcile me with Sentient Ruin and remind me how much I love it. But my main focus is just that of bringing meaning and sensorial empowerment to those who love to discover and look under every rock and stone of the underground, as I myself have been doing for decades now with no interest in fitting into a “scene” or participating in this or that bandwagon. If I have accomplished that, then I will have a meaning in my life and Sentient Ruin will have been a success, and another 6 hours of work a day after 6pm, nights and weekends, will be nothing but a joy to me.
A second important aspect I would like to disclose for you and reflect on in this moment of openness and reckoning of what has been (and inevitably is, and will be), is the struggle faced by the label and my private life since and after the COVID pandemic. I have already explained how Sentient Ruin is a self-sustainable operation completely free of the pressures of profit, so there is no strategic reasoning for me to hide the label’s hardships which are intrinsic to its nature, but rather, opening up about its recent chalenges makes me feel like support from You could come in a more meaningful and informed way. Months, now YEARS of struggle, that are still ongoing and which I will hardly forget. My baby, rendered powerless and adrift into agony. Years of work gone, with more years of work ahead needed to just heal wounds and put the pieces back together. The fall in sales that suddenly, almost overnight, hit around early/mid 2022 and the simultaneous exponential rise of production and shipping costs caused by the pandemic doubled my work, the challenges and the struggle, to the point I was no longer sleeping, or even breathing normally. I already explained the nature of this label and its purpose in this mortal coil. With no soft “cash cow” to land on or shield me from the storm, I felt certain doom approaching. I can’t help but think about my life partner and thank them for the support I got during that time while I as dealing with Sentent Ruin’s insanity all by myself. I don’t know where I’d be without them. Between Sentient Ruin, my day job, having a family and the world rapidly deteriorating into war and turmoil, keeping it together was a trial, as the “rats abandoned ship” as they say, and manufacturers and distributors turned into swindlers, frauds and ghouls, and basically every aspect of the industry was reduced to everyone trying to screw everyone else as they fought over the scraps of an aleatory time of abundance that is far gone and erased.
And that time of abundance fooled me just like it fooled many colleagues. A packed schedule for at least two years in the future full of releases already ordered and in production for several hundreds of copies each, and for up to 3-4 releases per month, had been building up since at least 2019, riding a wave of enthusiasm made of vapor. Spring 2022 swung around with tens of releases committed and in production, and thousands of dollars of invoices to pay, yet suddenly, overnight, everybody was gone, as the wave of vapor dissolved leaving us adrift with no sails or wind in a vast, bleak ocean of uncertainly, completely powerless. As the HQ filled up with boxes doomed to collect dust indefinitely and a race against time started to get the committed-to projects out, reduce orders, amounts, and releases as quick and as painlessly as possible, the fast concatenation of events left almost two years worth of releases that I now call “my COVID children” in disarray, collecting dust in my HQ. Too many copies were pressed for us to sell in a marketplace that had reshifted entirely, or for distributors to spread in a time of Brexit, then global pandemic, then war, recession, uncertainty and perpetually lingering doubt. With very few exceptions, this list of “COVID children” goes from Golgothan Remains’ 2022 “Adorned In Ruin” album (600 LPs pressed), to late last year’s Altarage’s “Nihl” reissue, which had been committed to and ordered since at least 2021 before suffering endless COVID-related delays. Over 30 releases doomed from the start, that explain the many discounts, $7 vinyl initiatives, the ongoing and indefinite permanent sale on this web shop, and so forth. (On that note, the permanent sale on this web shop is ongoing indefinitely, so please, help out when/if you can).
But I now feel like this 10 year anniversary of the label is falling into place and revealing its meaning as it comes into focus, looking more and more like a closure and a rebirth. It represents the curtain falling on a great era of birth and expansion, which was abruptly ruined toward the end by an unforeseen period of rapid and unpredictable turmoil, which we have however managed to sail through, scared and battered, but relatively unharmed. While I wasn’t able to change orders after the fact, since mid-2023 new orders have been made with a very conservative, viable, and frugal approach which has slowly relieved the pressure, removed some ballast, free’d some space up in the HQ, and allowed us to be set in motion again reasonably worry-free. At the same time I’ve found new distributors (excited to have moved away from CARGO last year and to have joined the Shellshock family for the UK), I am searching for even more distribution channels every day (a couple will be live soon), and I spend most of my days squeezing brain power out to figure out how to go back to acceptable unitary costs (which decrease with the increase of the amount ordered), while dealing with sales being still too dismally to slow to justify ordering large amounts of stock, and thus needing more viable channels to move the stock before I can up quantities again to obtain better unit costs.
The final, quite dramatic measure I took to regain my sanity, health and sleep from the last two years of utter dread and imprisonment, has been that of (regretfully), greatly reducing the release schedule. Until things get better (if they ever will), I will have to focus solely on the releases that matter most to the viability of the label and to the preservation of my health and work/life balance. The first decade of Sentient Ruin was marked by a period of unrealistic and ungrounded enthusiasm, biased by an aleatory and fragile world economy status quo, which irresponsibly led me (and others I can only assume - but the 1-year turnaround times blacked up record plants had until 2022 confirm this) to “release anything you want, if it doesn’t sell, who cares, some other release will take care of it with its sales”, and which allowed us ample economical room to release some truly odd and quirky stuff with close-to-zero sales potential. Those days are (fortunately? Unfortunately?) gone, at least for now. I simply can not keep overworking myself like this just for the scraps of meager survival, and I can not keep filling the HQ with boxes that go nowhere and which only make my living space become unbearable and unhealthy. So going forward, a long, hard thinking process will go into green-lighting any release to move forward, and releases will be highly selective and with many hard decisions made, at least for now. This situation made me think: “will Sentient Ruin ‘flatten’ out, and lose all its edge, quirkiness, uniqueness and multi-headed morbidity, in favor of releasing only economically viable genres?” The answer, is an absolute NO. Or, I will do all I can to prevent that from happening. Rather, the multi-genre, cross-discliplanary release philosophy will continue, but within each genre, harder decisions will have to be made, and some genres might as a result suffer less releases over a certain span of time, simply because certain genres produce less qualitative output than others in general.
I came to the realization however, that these hard two years were over after I got the first statement from Shellshock that showed me a new light at the end of the tunnel, and indicated I had made wise business decisions, that the hard work in patching up the ship had paid off, and that I was on the right path, thinking straight and being strong again. Then, suddenly and out of nowhere, I noticed all the free space on the label schedule ahead, and thus, free time for me, resulting from the aforementioned reduction in committed projects in order to return the label viable and my work/life balance healthy again. It’s then that I realized a new era had started for me and Sentient Ruin. A new era of balance, pragmatism, rationality, groundedness, health and composure, and as such, of new endless possibilities derived from regained health and lucidity. And I wanted to signal this new era, celebrate it, represent it, cherish it and sculpt it in stone somehow. So I decided it was time for a new visual effigy to this rebirth and new era for myself and the label: a new logo for Sentient Ruin. A logo that would remind me going forward that the new is here, and that the old was let go and is behind us.
The original Sentient Ruin sigil was designed for me 10 years ago by American street / graphic / graffiti artist and friend Give Up. I met Give Up before Sentient Ruin existed though a mutual love for the grindcore band Column of Heaven for which he’d done some t-shirt and album art, and thus, I wanted my new creation to look as exciting and menacing as that band did to me back then. Aside from a raven being present on a Give Up-designed Column of Heaven t-shirt I still own and love, ravens had always captured my appreciation since childhood, and have had a dualist symbology throughout history. On one side they have been perceived as scavenging carrion-eating bringers of bad omens with a clear connection to the dead, and thus, as beings associated with death, morbidity, and the underworld. In other cultures however, their opportunism, adaptability and clear intelligence has made them revered and welcomed as symbols of wisdom, resilliance, and strength. Just like it is for this label, no one thing is real or valid, and the truth is always in the middle, but ravens have always resonated with me since childhood, and being a 90’s kid who was influenced by dystopian movies like The Crow, comic books, anti-heroes, and of course heavy metal and antichristianity, using a raven to represent the label had been a decision made since years before the label even existed. I always felt like certain normal, harmless and actually useful (carrion and pest eaters) and beautiful things from the natural world like ravens had bad cred in modern society solely as a result of ignorant Christian bigot superstition. So I wanted to oppose that myopic and distorted view and celebrate them as a sign of rejection for the status quo morality and ignorant religious narrative, and as a sign of embracing counterculture, celebrating non-Christian cultures (nothing to do with European paganism which I equally despise for being equally full of ignorance and superstitions), and thus, I chose a raven for the label logo. The coat of arms was inspired by esotericism and warfare as I had the label in mind to symblize from the get go, but the rest of its resemblances was “up in the air”. I had a release coming out which required the new logo, so I went with whatever Give Up delivered to me back then, which I loved instantly, but which I never felt was truly “final”, and always had it in the back of my mind to update it and finish it “one day”. However, as things often go, life, work, and a crazy 200+ release schedule got in the way and kept me occupied for the next decade, so finally finishing the logo didn’t happen till 10 years later. Earlier this year I finally reconvened with Give Up about getting it to its final and definitive form, which lacked the clear reference to the label’s name and the “second half” of Sentient Ruin’s core vision aside from heavy metal: industrial and punk music. So the fairly improvised and generic esoteric “placeholder“ round centerpiece in the raven’s chest was finally replaced by an industrial looking chaos star glyph that celebrates the (hugely influential to me) Japanese hardcore punk band G.I.S.M. and their late singer Sakevi Yokoyama, one of my greatest inspirations. I will not disclose how and where the homage actually happens, but it’s in plain view and not hard to figure out. ;)
The name of the label, Sentient Ruin, in fact symbolizes chaos, but not in the sense of entropy, but rather, as an intentional design; as a deliberate and rational form of art, and as a voluntary means of transcendence coming from a thinking, creative and self-aware mind seeking self-determination through destruction. The definition “Laboratories” is a bit more playful and fun, and was inspired by Resident Evil, to symbolize a place for experimentation that produces abominations.
This final piece of info on what the last two years have been in the context of the label’s first decade of existence and of its first 10 year anniversary, brings this blog post close to its end.
After the recent 10 year anniversary sale two weeks ago, I packed up all the orders, and then enjoyed the first 3 days off the label in 10 years. I spent time with my partner and our kids, took a ferry across the Bay, worked on the back yard, designed some flyers for a couple shows, and just unplugged. It felt good, and gave me enthusiasm for the future, of enjoying doing this label with a better life/work balance, focusing more on things that matter (like in distribution, infrastructure, design, promotion, housekeeping etc.), and improving my skills with efficiency and productivity instead of running a bloated, time-consuming, all-devouring, high maintenance hectic release schedule that never really provides the time and attention every release truly deserves. Being more selective and picky with releases and having more time to curate each one, and just being healthier and more enthusiastic, will also inevitably raise the label’s quality bar and ultimately benefit everyone, starting from its supporters, You.
And I also find respite in thinking back once again of how fortunate I was amidst all the COVID chaos, that Sentient Ruin was “just a hobby” and not the entity responsible for feeding my kids or paying the bills. Therein lies its strength and its eternal triumph: it is not an entity devoted to profit and no one unrelated to music depends on it, and now thanks to COVID and the current world situation I know and understand this more and better than ever, and respect how it has assumed its own life and found its place in my world as a self-sustaining monolith and monumento to total obscurity and impenetrability, and how I must refocus my attention toward nurturing that fundamental and ineluctable virtue of the label.
With all this clarity, closure, and peace of mind slowly lulling me into relaxation and calmness after 10 years of hard work, utter madness and exploded nerves that characterized the last 2 years, the one thing I am REALLY looking forward to in the immediate near future (AKA the next couple of months), is resting, recharging, and finding the time to think, enjoy my family and home, and start to plan a far more healthier, rational, wise, and smart life together for me an the label, simply because enjoying it is key to continuing it, and there is no way out of that, and the last two years, I have not enjoyed it as much as I wanted to. It went that way for reasons beyond our control, but this is the “new new”, so all we can do is refocus each other and re-adapt in a new life together so we can be healthy, strong, productive, happy, and mostly, STRESS-FREE.
With all that said, this is not only a time for rest, healing, recharging, reflection, meditation, but also for the due thank You’s and for looking back on the last decade, for the recognition that is due, for celebration of all the Bands who together made this label, and of all the Supporters who grabbed a release in the past decade making it all possible. These 10 years of work are for You, and the next 100 years will be as well. I am just Your humble servant, because this slavery was a calling in life for me from day 1, and no hour of work will ever feel like a wall as much as it feels like self-empowerment and reason for happiness, liberation and motivation.
I, we, worked tirelessly over the past couple of weeks to set up a 10 year celebration sale full of tons of new label merch (and more is coming - keep your eyes peeled for Bandcamp Friday tomorrow), and while the next two months will be slower with releases while I recharge my batteries, I am already as usual knees deep working behind the scenes to bring you the next onslaught of bands that will deconstruct the rest of this year and turn it into the familiar auditory war zone you all know and enjoy.
New shit will be announced soon from Maudissez, S.H.I., Infernalvium, Obsoletion, Clan Dos Mortos Cicatriz, Miasma Of Occvlt Limbs, and more bands/releases which I can not announce just quite yet, and just saying those band names, and thinking about showing you these bands and all we have coming for you, makes me stoked as fuck and eager to jump back into the trench and get back to business after I take some much needed time off to heal and recharge.
ONWARD TO GOLGOTHA - thank You Guys for all that you have done for me and Sentient Ruin Laboratories over the years, we’re forever grateful for you and your kindness, curiosity, trust, commitment, and participation, and our mission from here out and forever is one, it’s always the same, and it will never change: TO NEVER DISAPPOINT YOU. LET’S GO. Ⓐ⛧
Hails, -M.
